Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
