If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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