if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
