you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize