Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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