just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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