Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
