sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
