I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
