You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
