i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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