If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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