What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
