I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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