porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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