Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
