and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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