nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if only i could text you this smell
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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