So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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