how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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