Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
