Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
