I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
