Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
