I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
