I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
COCAINE IS GR8
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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