Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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