We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
