could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
