Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
