my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
