Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
