i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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