Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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