soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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