I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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