My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize