Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
