i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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