Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
