I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
