I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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