is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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