this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love having hate sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
