I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
