Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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