I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
