Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
