I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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