No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
