You work out of a Hotel?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize