I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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