mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
