Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
