I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
