what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
