do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
