Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
