I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize