He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
