I need help removing her.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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