you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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