what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
