Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
