Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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