you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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