I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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